To have innate confidence, spirit, charisma. I feel awe, jealousy, longing. Wonder how being male and female means not that I cannot access the feeling of his endless belief in myself, but if it means it must be taught to me? Do men always win in some areas where I lose, and vice versa? Is it an excuse? There are SO FEW women artists who ever break out of the "female artist" label into just "artist." Maybe because to get there, they need to incessantly play on the fact that they are a woman, but still are talented? Does Basquiat breaking out of the label of just a black artist mean female artists can do the same?

1/4/19

The body has a plasticity. It does not crack, but molds. I put mine in the mirror where it rests so nicely, how does it fit its frame? She thinks she knows, but it isn't so-so, it isn't so easy when the rest comes in the slow.

2/11/19

Trying to reconsider boundaries for the people in my life - Laurel mentioned Aristotle's three levels of friendship for different people in your life. Drawing better lines and keeping things categorized to organize not only schoolwork but also time and relationships.

Feeling like i need to prioritize people who want to see me grow, and who I learn from, who appreciate things that I can bring to a relationship, and currently not enough of my relationships do that for me

2/17/19
Went out last night and it was terrible - you win some, you lose some? Haven't enjoyed drinking lately and much much much prefer dancing (with people I actually like) and just meeting and talking to people